“Broken” Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater Is Your Fault

“Broken” Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater Is Your Fault

Girls and guys… all of you out there, I’m talking to you, yes YOU. No you didn’t break the game, we all did and that’s because slowly but surely, over the last few years, we have been supporting this movement… we have been telling publishers that we are ok with it.

If you haven’t already read, heard and seen what a hot mess the new Pro Skater is, then let me just give you the quick and easy: It’s broken, it shipped with the majority of the game not on the disk (the rest has to be downloaded in a day one patch) and the game is b-r-o-k-e-n in terms of how buggy it is. This broken:

Now at some point, maybe not today but maybe in a few weeks or even months, this little itch brought about by nostalgia is going to start wanting to be scratched way in the back of your head. You’re going to hear things like “they patched most of the issues” and “it’s actually not bad now that it’s on sale”… but don’t do it, not today, not then.

Do. Not. Support. This. Shit.

Brought about by unrealistic time constraints, licenses or contracts coming to an end or who knows what… as gamers, consumers and as general folks who are willing to pay money to get things in return, this is a massive slap in the face, a kick in the dick, a punt in the… well, you get what I mean. It is, by definition, shit. It’s a bunch of crap falling out of someone’s ass like the hours following a night out eating bad, spicy, Mexican food and its our job to ensure that just like that experience, it needs to burn them on the way out.

The game doesn’t have enough reviews on Metacritic yet, but I think this gives a good hint at where it’s headed:

MetaTHPS5

 

Code Central’s review snippet actually likens it to the Black Plague.

So then, I told you all that the game’s broken state is your fault. Well it is. No ok not like YOUR fault, it’s our fault and we need to show that we aren’t willing to put up with this anymore by taking a strong stand against this.

Do not just vote with your wallet, do not just avoid this game… tell everyone. That cousin of yours that will inevitably buy it a month from now, those people who are going to buy it as a Christmas gift for their kids in not too long, we need to get to them, we need to let them know. They are going to be the victims, especially when you look at what video game prices have become.

First it was a bit of horse armour this and pay-to-skip that, then some games releasing with server issues at launch, then that became normal, then big day one patches and then that became normal, now games are starting to launch with server issues, day one patches AND huge amounts of bugs (looking at you here AC Unity, no, we haven’t forgotten. #neverforget.

History tells us that this WILL become normal, not even releasing a game when it goes Gold so that the team can scramble to actually finish it WILL happen more often, broken games that already have your money because of pre-orders WILL release more often.

This new and terrible release of a beloved, if slightly stale franchise needs to made into an example. We mustn’t just not buy it, we should mock it, ridicule it, take it to town and burn it in front of everyone, because its existence ridicules us. Goodness knows I feel sorry for the developers who probably tried their best to keep up with the ridiculous expectations of a couple of suits, we feel you, it sucks… so please grab some lifeboats…

… because we need to burn your ship down.

  • Well I enjoy Goat Simulator so I think I will still enjoy this just for the Glitches.

  • Zack Carnes

    There is wayyyy too much hate for this game. The only glitches i’ve came across where times when i shouldn’t have landed the trick regardless and it was comical evertime a glitch did happen. It was never game breaking. I’ve unlocked all levels and had a great time doing so. Yes it could be better but its still pretty damn fun as is.

    • Nick de Bruyne

      Strange, I read on Twitter that some of these entire glitch compilations videos (it may have actually been this Eurogamer one above) were captured all within the first hour of gameplay

  • andy

    I know right? Ignoring the Tony Hawk series since the abysmal 4th game 13 years ago and begging for a good one since is the reason this was made. Its all my fault 🙁 I’m so sorry everyone.
    In other news, I’m the reason Square Enix and Capcom keep putting out utter shit this past decade too.

    I noticed somebody mentioned Goat Simulator in another comment and must assume that is what you bring up in the article. I’m not part of that target audience of games like that (the youtube moronic generation of gamers), so if that is what you are aiming for in the article……………no……..just no.

    • Nick de Bruyne

      No Goat Simulator was not brought up in the article, which I must assume you didn’t actually read before commenting then? Why?

      • I mentioned Goat Simulator, but I think some people think I read it in the article. But I don’t know any other game that is as glitchy as this game than Goat Simulator. That is why I mentioned it.

        • Nick de Bruyne

          This commenter clearly didn’t actually read the full article, as he says he assumes Goat Simulator is brought up because he saw it in your comment. I don’t understand it, why comment if you haven’t read the article? Some articles change tone and pace entirely by the end. Very odd.

  • Shubhendu Singh

    There should be a Refund Policy for Consoles too, like Steam.

    • Nick de Bruyne

      I really do agree here, but I think the console manufacturers are going to try to prolong it as long as possible as it works in their favour not to have it, but Steam is proving just how wonderful it is to give power to the people. Just last night we were discussing Batman Arkham Knight on PC and how it was so problematic everyone got refunds and they actually pulled it from the store, Warner Brothers wont make that mistake again because they got burned, which should lead to better releases in future. That’s good progress for everyone!